Guide to Avoid being Accused of Sexual Misconduct

Always get consent and give respect.

1. Talk to your partner openly so you can both communicate your wishes and have no misunderstanding. If you aren't comfortable talking openly about your sexual desires and limits, you are not ready to be sexual.

2. Always ask before you touch someone sexually.

3. Assume that "no" means NO. If you are not sure that you have gotten consent, your partner can initiate more sexual contact.

4. Listen Carefully. Take the time to hear what your date is saying. Be sensitive to that person's feelings. If you feel your date is not being direct or is giving you a "mixed message", ask for a clarification.

5. Don't make assumptions about someone's behavior. Don't automatically assume that someone wants to have sex just because they drink heavily, dress provocatively, or agree to go to your room. Don't assume that just because someone has had sex with you previously they are willing to have sex with you again. Also, don't assume that just because someone consents to kissing or other sexual intimacies, they are willing to have sexual intercourse.

6. Don't feel as if you always have to initiate sexual activity. Don't initiate if you don't want to. You don't have to prove your sexuality.

7. Don't have sex with someone who is drugged, intoxicated, passed out, incapable of saying "NO", or unaware of what is happening around them. That is sexual assault. Getting someone drunk is not the same as getting their permission. Be aware that having sex with someone who is mentally or physically incapable of giving consent is against the law.

8. If you have to pressure your date or get your date intoxicated to do it, don't do it. Submission is not consent. Consent is active and not passive. Any sexual contact without consent is considered sexual assault in Wisconsin.

9. Do not exploit or sexually harass others with humor, threats or embarrassing comments.

10. Be especially careful in group situations. Be prepared to resist pressure from friends to participate in violent sexual acts or gang up on an individual.

Remember that just because someone doesn't want to have sex with you, that doesn't mean there is something wrong with you or that the other person isn't attracted to you. There can be many reasons for not wanting to have sex. Sex is a very intimate act that can involve medical and emotional risk.